2.00PM
Thursday.
It’s etched in my diary
in bright, red ink-
as if I’d ever forget!
It’s almost business as usual.
Just another appointment.
Yet, this one’s different.
Things have changed.
Now, I’m somehow tangled up,
caught in the twilight zone,
dangling down by my ankle.
Still walking…
Still smiling…
only upside down!
1.45PM…
I walk.
Almost there.
Early…
when I’d rather be late.
Calm and yet a pebble
ricochets across my pond
and its ripples spread.
Something gruesomely terrifying
is out to get me.
Gobble me up in one gulp
But it hasn’t quite found me yet.
I swim just beyond its jaws
and I am free.
I walk.
Paintings smile at me
from white walls
Clean but not sanitised.
Rainbow curtains promise hope.
So many hearts
trying to turn
these dreadful things around.
They warm my soul.
Hold me tight
in the very arms of love.
I walk.
Cannulas,
needles.
treatments…
I know.
But this is chemo.
I picture the worst.
Hope for the best
But have no idea
where this journey will end.
I just want to get better.
But what makes me well
will also make me sick.
This toxic plonk
they strangely deem a cure
is hardly organic.
I’m very particular
about what I pour
inside my veins
and this breaks all the rules.
2.00 o’clock
Time has stopped.
Bang!
This is it.
There’s nowhere to run.
I used to be afraid
of the dentist.
An angel appears…
almost an apparition:
“Rowena!”
“Robyn!”
My nurse is with me.
She smiles a smile
which calms all fear.
It really is business as usual,
after all.
Now I know
everything really is
going to be alright…
at least for now.
A stranger makes me
a cup of tea
and I lean back to read.
Chemo begins
but there is no change.
No sudden explosion or tremor
spread throughout my veins.
Not even a ripple in the pond.
The sea is calm.
I am walking on water.
Rowena
Beyond the Flow 
I’m sorry it took me so long to get around to reading this, Row. Because it’s so lovely. I hope you’re doing ok and that the cells of your body realise what a strong mind you have.
May I share this please?
Thanks Shelley. Would love you to share it.
This whole chemo journey has been very strange because it hasn’t conformed to my expectations at all and hasn’t been anything like as bad. Sure, I have been very tired at times but am able to manage most of the time and have been catching up with people. Saw Clare and Al this afternoon.
I really liked what you wrote about the cells of my body listening to my strong mind. I hope they do have ears and unlike our beautiful children, actually use them!
Well, it’s getting very late so I’d better get to bed.
xx Ro
Firstly, this caught my attention because of the bare feet. I have many photos of my bare feet. I tend to have bare feet more than I have shoes on.
Should I assume you climbed Mt Everest and made it to the top? (won the cancer battle.) Such courage and fortitude. I love poetry. I believe all of us have a song in our hearts. And poetry is a lovely expression of that. Peace be with you. Blessings of love and light.
Debbe
Thanks very much, Debbe. I actually had the chemo to treat an auto-immune disease which was attacking my lungs. Fortunately, it worked and I’ve been in remission for 18 months now. I have wanted to climb some sort of physical mountain to represent overcoming my health issues but decided to ski down the mountain instead. That actually turned out to be much harder and scarier than I’d imagined but I pulled it off. xx Rowena