Dibber Dobber! Dibber Dobber!
Humph…I don’t think Lady is happy with me about broadcasting her recent antics on my blog. It’s not that she’s ashamed in any way about either the rabbit incident or the subsequent dead fish incident. In fact, if anything, she’s beaming with pride. She knows how to hunt and who knows, she might even have been giving Bilbo and I a few lessons. Wasn’t impressed with our ignorance!
However, being a city slicker, I haven’t shared her enthusiasm. You could say what happens on the farm, stays on the farm and as far as I’m concerned, that includes hunting…especially when we’re at Palm Beach. To say it isn’t the done thing, is the understatement of the century. All the other local dogs have at least absorbed the Ultimate Palm Beach Etiquette Book for Pups, even if they haven’t read it themselves.
Meanwhile, Lady is looking mortally wounded…a poor, misunderstood and even unappreciated puppy dog. Just because I don’t appreciate her hunting prowess. She says that if you want to catch a rabbit you can’t go out there smelling like a dog. Oh no! A rabbit would know the scent of a dog and exit stage left but even the smartest of all rabbits would never, ever suspect a fish!
Well, she got that right. If you were a rabbit nonchalantly nibbling grass in the park, you’d never expect you’d be eaten by a fish…not in a million years!
However, Lady is obviously confused about her job description. Of course, her primary responsibility is being our pet. Sure, we never elaborated on what it meant to be a pet. While a bit of hunting is acceptable, it is not her primary role and certainly isn’t to become her raison d’être… especially when it involves rolling in dead animal carcasses prior to a long, long car drive home.
Well, perhaps Lady did pick up some kind of message because early for us on Monday morning (it was the long weekend), we heard the loud metallic bang of the front door knocker. Geoff and I were a bit mystified as we weren’t expecting anybody and I guess the neighbours must have been thinking much the same thing when Lady climbed up onto a table and jumped over the fence and suddenly appeared at their place. She is after all an exceptionally friendly dog and rather than simply talking over the fence, she decided to get up close and personal.
Just then, as I’m writing this I just heard a plate crash in the kitchen. A leftover piece of chicken schnitzel…well, it wasn’t eaten. Apparently the crash of the plate scared her but obviously we’re going to need to Lady proof the house. She’s two years old but evidently still a pup. I am now reading Marley & Me. Marley has a reputation as being the world’s naughtiest dog. I wouldn’t describe Lady as naughty, more opportunistic. It’s now becoming my job to pre-empt these opportunities and get a step ahead. It’s never worked with the kids but Bilbo our original dog is exceptionally well-behaved. He makes me look like the perfect parent. That is, when he isn’t frothing at the mouth barking at my friend who drives the kids to school a few days a week. No dog is perfect!
That’s right. Even Bilbo has his Achilles heel and that’s his insatiable appetite. Just call him: “Beggar Boy”!
Out of a sense of fairness, I should also report that when Bilbo was a pup, I was admitted to hospital for 7 weeks and needless to say, he wasn’t happy. Back then, he still had access under the house, even though he was digging his way to China all around the foundations. Being a pup chewing things goes with the territory but what we hadn’t expected was that Bilbo would chew through the Internet and computer networking cables under the house. Now you could say that this was a humble mistake and he was simply doing what all pups do but I can’t help thinking it was a cry for help…or an act of revenge. Geoff had been working through my hospital stint while my parents had the kids and he was doing a grand tour most nights visiting the kids, me and then going home to look after the dog. The last thing he needed to deal with was a rebellious dog and having to rebuild the network. While fixing it all, he came across an electric cable which had a few tooth marks through it. It’s quite probable that Bilbo felt a bit of a light zap and was lucky not to get an express trip to puppy dog heaven. He was spared.
So not even Saint Bilbo is so perfect, after all.
Do you have any funny dog stories? Naughty Tales? I’d love to hear them.