Mummy! Dogs Can’t Read! But…

If you’ve been following the New Year’s celebrations on Beyond the Flow, then you’d know that although I’ve been unable to write or action any resolutions of my own, I’ve issued each of the dogs with a detailed letter outlining their responsibilities for the New Year.

Bilbo close-up


Bilbo’s Letter

Lady at Ocean Beach


Lady’s Letter

These are what you call SMART Goals:


However, according to my daughter, writing the dogs each a letter outlining their strengths and weaknesses, wasn’t so smart after all.

There was just one small detail I managed to overlook:

Dogs can’t read!

Then, she had to point out that when anyone else wants to train their dog, they simply feed them treats. They don’t waste the better part of a day writing 1000 word letters to dogs who can’t read.

Indeed, Miss even had the audacity to say: “Mummy, if you stopped writing letters to the dogs, you might even be able to get your “Book Project” published!”

Ouch! She had a point.

To be fair, even I had to admit my letters were rather wordy and philosophical. That I should’ve stuck to the basics. On the other hand,  I also thought she was selling the dogs a bit short.

After all, dogs have been taught to read…especially the Border Collie, who is the undisputed Einstein of dogs.

That meant Bilbo was in but I wasn’t so sure about Lady.

lady reading book

Lady reading Geoff Le Pard’s: “My Father & Other Liars.”

Just because Lady’s been photographed reading Geoff Le Pard’s latest novel:My Father & Other Liars , that doesn’t mean the camera wasn’t lying. Despite their reputation for honesty, cameras can tell bigger porky pies than politicians!

Then, just as I was beginning to lose the faith, salvation came…

dog words

Oh Miss of little faith!

So, if you don’t hear from me for awhile, I might be otherwise occupied.


Unlike other things you might read on blogs, teaching your dog to read is something I highly recommend you do try at home. After all, why should we deny dogs the love we have of reading?

Knew you’d agree!

Stay tuned!

xx Rowena

21 thoughts on “Mummy! Dogs Can’t Read! But…

  1. Midwestern Plant Girl

    I’m not truly sure my guys can’t read, however they sure know more of the English language than some people I know! It amazes me what they pick up while I’m talking. Breck is an avid listener. Any word that sounds like: out, treat, food, friend, go… you get the point. . He’s a great conversationalist. .. rarely interrupts 😉

  2. roweeee Post author

    Bilbo has become quite interrupter when he wants you to throw the ball or feed him. Both dogs are great company. Love the to bits! xx Ro

  3. roweeee Post author

    You’re welcome, Geoff. I’m actually getting quite clever with getting those links looking better. Well, clever by my standards anyway. xx Ro

  4. roweeee Post author

    So, does this mean cats are smarter than dogs? Cats can read the paper but dogs are lucky to read 100 words? I can see a debate on the horizon…

  5. roweeee Post author

    Thank you. Millie. That’s a point for the dogs. We have one newspaper reading cat, a canine book reviewer and Lady photographed reading a book.

  6. trentpmcd

    When my dogs were young they loved books! They simply devoured them. I don’t know how much comprehension there was since their teeth touched more words than their eyes, but it was a start. I loved the letters and this response.

  7. roweeee Post author

    Thanks very much, Trent. I was quite surprised at how this all came along. As you’d appreciate as a writer, you try something new and you don’t know how it will pan out.
    I have a new working title for at least part of the Book Project, which is “Mummy Means Well”, which was inspired by those letters. Mummy means well, but usually there’s a screw up somewhere along the way but it’s the good intention that counts and the love which inspired it, not the mistake…or scene of mass destruction as it might be! xx Rowena

  8. Norah

    This series is hilarious, Rowena! It may not be the book you were planning but I think these letters have a future. I’m sure there can be many added including explaining the tooth fairy, Easter Bunny and Father Christmas, as well as the bus driver (already mentioned) and the postman, and why the boy isn’t in his room. I think the book would be a big hit with dog lovers, especially with photos of your beautiful dogs adorning the pages. Dogs may not be able to read, but their owners can!

  9. roweeee Post author

    Thanks very much for the encouragement, Norah. I know you’re right. Indeed, I am reading your comments in reverse order.
    I’ve always been able to express some difficult concepts through the dogs and writing about dogs also gets around all sorts of discrimination issues etc. Makes it a lot easier.

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