Saturday 9th June, 2016.
News has just been received that Bilbo, a distraught Border Collie, has reported a boy he calls “his brother” missing.
Bilbo states that the boy, who has been missing since Saturday 2nd January, has been eaten by Drop Bears. He has grave concerns for the boy’s safety.
When investigators interviewed Bilbo, he said there was nothing left of the boy and that the Drop Bears have even painted his bedroom to cover up and contaminate forensic evidence.
Bilbo said: “Only the vicious Drop Bear is capable devouring its victims whole like this. They’re a savage beast and fall out of trees silently attacking their prey without warning.”
Bilbo said: “There’s a tree outside the boy’s room. This is how the Drop Bear snuck in and disappeared without being spotted.”
Drop Bears (Thylarctos plummetus ) are around the size of a leopard or very large dog with coarse orange fur with some darker mottled patterning (as seen in most Koalas). It is a heavily built animal with powerful forearms for climbing and holding on to prey. It lacks canines, using broad powerful premolars as biting tools instead. – See more at: http://australianmuseum.net.au/drop-bear#sthash.kbhxOHhg.dpuf
Although actually sightings of Drop Bears are extremely rare, the Australian Museum’s web site explains that are very adept hunters:
“Drop Bears hunt by ambushing ground dwelling animals from above, waiting up to as much as four hours to make a surprise kill. Once prey is within view, the Drop Bear will drop as much as eight metres to pounce on top of the unsuspecting victim. The initial impact often stuns the prey, allowing it to be bitten on the neck and quickly subdued.
If the prey is small enough Drop Bears will haul it back up the tree to feed without harassment from other predators. (See more at: http://australianmuseum.net.au/drop-bear#sthash.kbhxOHhg.dpuf)
Police have checked local CCTV footage and no signs of the boy have been found.
“It’s a real mystery,” said Sergeant Plod of Beach Village. “This is the first talk we’ve had of Drop Bears in the area and we are taking this threat extremely seriously, particularly since the reported sighting in Brisbane.
We advise all local residents to keep their house locked at all times and not to leave any windows open. Keep pets inside and out of harm’s way as well. When it comes to Drop Bears, your much loved pets are nothing but a snack.
If anyone sees a Drop Bear, do not approach. They are extremely dangerous. I repeat….DO NOT APPROACH. Instead call Drop Bear Stoppers immediately.” Sergeant Plod said.
We are thinking of the boy’s family and pray for his safe return.
PS Mister has been at the Australian Jamboree during this time. His troop is called the Drop Bears and they are having an incredible time. Geoff and Miss caught up with him today. He’s very tired but still smiling and having the time of his life! Stay tuned.