Dog’s Guide to Fighting Fear.

Quite frankly, I reckons humans could learn quite a lot about getting rid of fear from dogs.

To fill youself in, you might want to read my previous post Dog Rescues Mum From Fear Mum and Dad have been renovating Mister’s room while he’s off with the Drop Bears, who are apparently his scout group and not the savage relative of the Koala Bear after all.

So being a generous sort of dog, I thought I’d share these incredible pearls of wisdom with you free of charge, without my usual appearance fee. After all, you humans desperately need help!

Here goes:

  1. Bark! (Or, in human: “Get Lost!”)
  2. Stare fear straight in the eye with a menacing glare. This will show fear you’re the boss.
  3. Growl.
  4. Flash your razor-sharp teeth, while raising your upper lip. This makes you look really scary and if fear has any brains at all, it will run for the hills!.
  5. Inflate yourself to double your size. If fear is still hanging round after implementing points 1-4, it really means business. Do not give up!
  6. Lunge.
  7. Never open the door to fear
  8. Don’t offer fear a cup of coffee, tea or Bonox.
  9. Thou shalt not give fear a seat either.
  10. Give your Vegemite toast to me instead.

If all of these measures fail, phone a friend and call for reinforcements. Not to enable avoidance but to help you get fear out the door and shut out.

Remember, you are stronger than you think and for what you might lack in stature, you can more than make up with in attitude.

chihuahuasf1

You just ask a Chihuahua! They might be small but they’re feisty little things. They even scare me. Well, they would if I ever let myself give in to fear that is.

Anyway, I hope these suggestions help. Perhaps, I should seek out a publisher. After all, people looking for GOD, might be just as happy with a DOG.

xx Bilbo

Lady at Ocean Beach

Lady at Ocean Beach, NSW.

Humph! I’m sorry to interrupt Bilbo’s fine spiel with an urgent commercial break but here at Beyond the Flow, we esteem character, honesty and integrity.This even includes illuminating guest blogger’s blinkers about their own over-inflated abilities.

While Bilbo is very quick to point out my catastrophication of the fireworks on New Year’s Eve and Mum’s fear of stuffing up the painting, he has some serious fears of his own. Naturally, he needs to address these BEFORE he promotes himself as the intrepid conqueror.

I even have photographic proof of Bilbo’s huge irrational fear of even getting his paws wet.

Fetching Bilbos Ball

Finally some assistance. Miss puts Bilbo out of his misery!

He was so afraid of getting his paws wet that he was willing to let his beloved ball be swept out to sea until Miss rescued it with the pool scoop. Does that sound like Captain Courageous to you? I didn’t think so! Chicken feet! That’s what he is!!

You might also recall he totally catastrophized Mister’s absence and made up this whole story about him being eaten by Drop Bears, which he sent to the press.

So, if you still have a few fears stuffed up your sleeves or hidden under your big fur coat like Bilbo, I wouldn’t be too ashamed. However, even though he hasn’t truly conquered fear himself, he does have good advice: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. That is so true.

For you Bilbo, that step means getting your paw wet. I’ll see you at the beach!

xx Lady! (Keeping the big boasters honest!)

Lady kayak wide

Who’s calling this little black dog “chicken”?

 

15 thoughts on “Dog’s Guide to Fighting Fear.

  1. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist

    Fun. There is a chihuahua in my puppy class and it is obviously the smallest dog present. She does your tip 5 and puts her ears out from her head to try and make herself appear that much bigger. It is quite funny to watch. Poor Bilbo.

  2. roweeee Post author

    Bilbo has had a rough time with Mister away and when he returned, our daughter left. He doesn’t like these revolving doors. Likes all four humans at home where they belong.

  3. roweeee Post author

    Lying in walkways is my specialty. Even Grandma comes round here and says one day someone is going to fall over me and they’ll end up in hospital. However, I’m sure they’e stalking me. I find a quiet place to lie down and have a sleep and I’m rudely awakened by a shoe in my ribs xx Bilbo.

  4. Pingback: Coffee By Moonlight | beyondtheflow

  5. roweeee Post author

    Our Lady is like that. My daughter and I were discussing dog blog posts and she suggested Lady wanting to take over the house but I suspect she’s more interested in world domination, than simply ruling the house. She sneaks in under the house despite barriers and I think that’s her domain and goodness knows what she’s plotting under there!
    Bilbo is a good dog. Really sticks to the rules and that seems to be part of his makeup. That’s no doubt being the full Border Collie.
    We’re about to head off to buy our son’s high school uniform. So excited even though I’d rather be buying more interesting clothing. Hope you have a great week xx Rowena

  6. annabellefranklinauthor

    Points 7 – 9 would be great advice for our Pearl, though I wouldn’t recommend she tries 1 – 6 – her main fear is children!
    Teach a dog to write, and you’ll have a genius in your midst. Millie xx

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