Mr’s Poem: Through My Window

Looking out my window,
I hear a sound.
Scutter scutter.
Scutter scutter.
Out in the garden,
there’s a little white rabbit.
Mum!
Dad!
But when we get back,
it’s gone…
just like a puff of smoke.

No one believes me.
They just say
that I’m dreaming.
Imagination overload
all over again.
But I know what I saw.

Now,
that I’m back here alone,
the rabbit returns.
It’s glowing gold,
red eyes flashing
in the darkness.
What is it?
Why has it come?

rabbit

Then, I blink again.
The rabbit burns up into flames
with an even brighter glow
and is gone.

In the morning,
I found no rabbit prints

in the grass.

No sign of the rabbit at all.
Yet,

I know what I saw…

a mysterious rabbit

hopping outside

my bedroom window.

By Mister J

23rd February 2016.

P.S. Sorry about the spacing in between lines. Between Word and WordPress something has gone awry.

If you have been following our Through My Window Poetry Series, this is my son’s interpretation of the theme. He had to write this poem for school. I came up with two versions of my own, which I was quite pleased about. Initially this was just to provide him with an example, but I became inspired by this theme and the range of perspectives it offered.

When I first found out that he had to write a poem, I was quite concerned. It sounded like a pretty ambitious undertaking to me. We never had to write a poem at school and even I was a long way from being a born poet. I remember my own embryonic efforts back at high school (all about unrequited love of course) which I poured out to my friend on the bus. These poems could have induced paroxysms of severe vomiting. I still have them but they are kept very much under lock and key.

However, Year 7s have to be pretty grown up these days. No sooner had they walked through the gate and they were given their jabs, had school photos and also had to write a real poem. None of this “the cat sat on the mat” or “roses are red” stuff but something original and Mister more than succeeded. I gave him a bit of a hand with punctuation and layout and we talked through his ideas so he could really clarify what he wanted to say. This included some heated moments but he did really well and I didn’t write it for him. He had a vision and he pulled it off. That’s something for anyone to celebrate…young or old.

Once again, I’m left to say that school is stretching my children in areas I never thought possible and I’m just left dumbstruck on the sidelines wondering what they’re going to get up to next.

I am Mum in a magical yellow taxi waking up every day wondering where we’ll be heading to next. It’s becoming an incredible journey but I also have to admit it’s a bit surreal and way beyond the scope of GPS.

Thank you for joining me for some of the drive!

xx Rowena

 

 

 

35 thoughts on “Mr’s Poem: Through My Window

  1. merrildsmith

    Mr. did a great job! I think my girls had poetry assignments at that age, but I’m not certain. They may have written some for special projects, and they both took a creative writing class in high school. (Our high school is for older kids.)

  2. Midwestern Plant Girl

    Mr is on his way to poet-dom! I think it was a very imaginative poem & had great flow. (I giggled after I wrote ‘flow’ .. left it in) I do remember having to learn all different types of poems in school: haikus, limericks, basic rhymes. It was fun for me. When I was a tween, I wanted to be a rock star and wrote many ‘songs’.. which is really just poetry to me.

  3. roweeee Post author

    I love the whole rock star idea. My brother was really into KISS when we were kids and he had posters all over his bedroom and possibly even on the ceiling. We had a bit of a backyard band thing going and I think our guitars were tennis rackets. I’ll have to revisit the photos. There are definitely photos of us with white face paint on and there’s one of me singing into a hairbrush. I started out doing so well. I wonder where I went wrong?!! xx Ro

  4. roweeee Post author

    We had to read a Christmas Carol in Year 7. I really should re-read it. I will have to try to find my creative writing efforts from high school. They could be more promising than the bus poems.

  5. New Journey

    I really like it….he has a great imagination, just like his mum!!! I could picture the little poof of smoke as the rabbit disappeared in front of him….kat

  6. mandibelle16

    What a wonderful job he did. I like how when the rabbit comes back ” he burns up in flames with an even brighter glow,” that part is interesting and stands out from seeing a normal rabbit around your house a couple times, it makes the rabbit more magic. I think. Hope he receives a good grade. I went to a Fine Arts elementary school so we definitely wrote poetry then. After that it was habit for me.

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  8. roweeee Post author

    Thanks very much, Emmanuel. I’ll pass it onto him. He has to write a Haiku this week. The family had a bit of fun with this over dinner. They all thought the connections in my Haiku were too remote and came up with this:
    Roses are red
    violets are blue.
    Look! There’s a kookaburra.

    I am feeling misunderstood…sob!
    xx Rowena

  9. Emmanuel Muema

    You’re very welcome Rowena. I like how your nickname rolls of the tongue, Roweeee Roweeee Roweee.
    Anyway I already posted your dentist pack of cards marriage life joke.
    It was toooo good to be just read and giggled at.

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  13. Norah

    I can’t believe you didn’t write poetry at school! Actually I am not sure that I was required to, but I did anyway. I do remember having to copy out the poems of others, in my best handwriting, in a beautifully decorated anthology book.
    I think before poetry writing comes a lot of poetry reading. It can’t be written without knowledge of its essence.
    Mr has done an excellent poem. I like the changing flights of his imagination. It reminds me of a prose piece I wrote in my teens. His shows much more promise. I especially like the golden rabbit disappearing in flames.
    Well done, Mister! Thanks for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it.

  14. roweeee Post author

    I wrote poetry for myself while I was at school but I don’t recall having to write a poem in class. Although now that you’ve stretched those poor tired brain cells of mine, I think I had to write a Haiku in year 6.
    My son has been really encouraged by the comments on likes on his poems. It’s been quite an unexpected development…just like pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Mind you, that seems to happen quite a lot with my kids. Dare I mention a certain Baritone Horn? By the way, the horn has become “Barry” and her friend’s Clarinet is: “Clarrie”. I think I might have mentioned that they were jamming together over Facetime the other afternoon. As I said, never a dull moment around here. At least, when they’re home. They’re starting rehearsals for the scout “Gang Show” this weekend.
    Hope you’ve had a good week and a good weekend xx Rowena

  15. roweeee Post author

    Thank you very much. I’ll let him know. I thought that was a very particular choice of words myself and when I quized him about the details of the poem, he was very particular. He had a very definite vision.
    The teacher had provided marking criterion so for top marks he needed similes, metaphors, using the senses etc. I was talking with him about his glowing rabbit and trying to get him to use a simile or metaphor there but he was adamant the rabbit was glowing gold, not white and comparing it to the moon was wrong and we had quite a debate about the different colours the moon can have. We get bushfires, for example, where the moon glows orange but that didn’t count. It was good because he knew what he wanted to say and I think it even crystalised as we went back and forth…including a bit of steam! He hasn’t really written anything much before and has been quite an avoider so I was expecting he wouldn’t do this task at all and need a real shove and “I’ll getting your father” but he flew through. It’s been a truly memorable experience with him!

  16. Norah

    Barrie and Clarrie. I think there’s a story in there! And not just one over Facetime.
    You are definitely having a busy time keeping up with the richness of your children’s experiences. Sounds like you are enjoying them and getting just as much from them as they are. Wonderful!
    Have fun! xx

  17. roweeee Post author

    It’s been an interesting transition for me this year, Norah. I am probably the healthiest I’ve ever been since I developed the auto-immune disease and my prednisone dose is down to 7.5mg and I am feeling much calmer most of the time. This has to be helping the parenting situation. I am no doubt better suited to this stage in their development than the new baby stage. While you hear people being intimidated by the teenage years, I at least feel like I know what I’m doing here. I remember being a teenager and I wrote journals etc. I felt so lost as a new parent although not unhappy. Just overwhelmed and trying to juggle the work and family thing and feeling like I was being sucked down a drainpipe at times. I probably should be thinking more about work but am hoping that the writing is going to ultimately come through.
    By the way, through the kids I have taken up skiing, the violin, writing Haiku and that’s just off the top of my head. These are significant areas of growth…not peanuts! Yes…and they’ve really nurture my love of picture books and writing for kids. I need to get that out in a post for other parents to read. Parenting isn’t just about loss and sacrifice!

  18. Norah

    Parenting and loss and sacrifice? I would never have but them together. I have gained far more as a parent than I have lost. I found me. My children are the best teachers and best friends I have ever had. I cannot imagine life without them. There was nothing to lose that wasn’t worth losing, and definitely no sacrifice for me. I know others think differently on it though.
    I’m pleased you are enjoying this stage your children are at. Sounds like you are learning a lot together. Enjoy! 🙂

  19. roweeee Post author

    This stage is going really well. Not without its issues but certainly a lot better.To be fair to myself, I was really sick when they were small and they were so active, especially my son and I couldn’t keep up. They both are spending too much time on electronics at the moment but that’s about to change and they just happen to be going away sailing at Balmoral on the harbour with the scouts all of next weekend. That will be a great start.

  20. Minuscule Moments

    Rowena what a fantastic poem tell your son he has a gift. I am amazed at the stuff my daughter is learning in English too. I don’t recall learning about nominative cases and present participles at that age or ever. She has to write a fractured fairytale in 600 words and I was excited for her because we never got to express ourselves in this way through learning.

  21. roweeee Post author

    Writing a fractured fairytale sounds like great fun. I’ve never done that. I did a lot of that Grammar in year 6 and hated it. Found it very difficult to follow.While I still remember my tables, much o that has well and truly disappeared. That’s if it ever went in at all! xx Ro

  22. hitandrun1964

    Love the story and I believe the rabbit was there…absolutely. My spacing is always screwed up. There’s no way to get it right. I have to leave huge gaps between verses to separate them and sometimes that doesn’t even work. Frustrating.

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