Dear Ms Parker,
Thank you very much for your support.
Naturally, we are replying from Le Salon where Dogs The Musical, has become the cat’s ultimate revenge. I’m sure those cats didn’t have their outsides and insides scrubbed right off. Indeed, we are demanding “time on the couch” after enduring such brutality.
This is definitely NOT what we consider: “star treatment!”
Indeed, it’s more like persecution, torture and these agents of evil should be charged under the Cruelty to Animals Act!
You’ll be hearing from our agent!
They have pretty much left me au naturel but they’ve dressed Lady up in a pink tutu and tied a bow on her head. If only our comrades at Dog Beach could see her. She’s quite the prima ballerina, even if she can not pirouette!
She snapped at me when I laughed. Called me a bully. I couldn’t believe anyone could transform such a belligerent farm dog into THAT.
By the way, if you think Mum’s generous with words, you should try running down the beach with her! She knows everyone! While she blames our incessant sniffing for slowing us down, we both know the truth, don’t we?!!
As you might have gathered, I am writing on Lady’s behalf. She is much more interested in rolling in dead animals than furthering her education.
Hang on! Wait a minute!
It turns out that Lady is more than just a pretty face (which surprises me no end but I always suspected there was something inbetween those floppy ears. After all, she is half Border Collie and that half has to be hidden in there somewhere!!)
Lady has blown your cover. While we took you for a serious dog lover and defender of the cause, you’re a traitor.
Dogs as fashion accessories…Is that really all we mean to you?!!
Don’t deny it. Turns out Lady can read after all and I have it all here printed in black and white:
“Fashion is such a far-reaching thing. It isn’t content with all that goes on a woman; it extends to all that goes around, under, and over her. It is responsible for her figure, her complexion, and her state of mind. It won’t even stop at inanimate things—it extends to her very dog. Fancy carrying a short full dog when Paris insists on long straight lines, or trying to combine a Louis XVI–style dog with a Moyen Âge gown—well, it simply isn’t done, that’s all.
But one need not despair. So many dogs are smart this season that a woman could really have a different dog for every gown in her wardrobe.” and More