Never too old for divorce…Friday Fictioneers.

Since retiring, Bill’s been escaping to his cave.

Constantly under attack by his wife’s monomaniacal cleaning, he couldn’t put his feet up in the house, let alone put a glass down.

Now, he could finally breathe without her pissing all over him like a territorial cat.

“Bill, why don’t you leave?”

“But there’s nowhere to go.”

“You could just go…”

Instead, he nailed up The Scream 1. and drew a mustache on her face.

“Lady, I’m your knight in shining armor and I love you
You have made me what I am and I am yours…2.”

Bill switched the radio off.


  1. Edvard Munch, The Scream

2. Kenny Rogers, Lady.

This has been part of Friday Fictioneers. The featured image is PHOTO PROMPT © CEayr.

23 thoughts on “Never too old for divorce…Friday Fictioneers.

  1. Rowena Post author

    Thanks very much, Rochelle. My Dad retired last year and Mum is full of stories about her friends. The worst seemed to be husbands who expect their wives to provide hot lunches, although husbands who accompanied their wives everywhere weren’t appreciated either. Another friend said that when men retire what they miss most is their Personal Assistant and I guess many wives aren’t prepared to fill those shoes.
    The original version of this had his man cave all decked out with flat screen TV, microwave, wine and his trophies. I am looking at developing a longer 1500 word version. There as a lot of possibility here.
    Best wishes & Shalom,

  2. rochellewisoff

    I retired last year and my husband two years ago. He has a part time job now to keep him from going stir-crazy and I have my writing. It sounds like you have the fodder for a very entertaining longer piece.



  3. gahlearner

    There’s nothing wrong with each wanting space of their own as long as they can maintain togetherness. I doubt that with this couple though, happens often. Good thought-provoking story.

  4. Rowena Post author

    You’re quite perceptive. I reluctantly cut it back from 250 words to meet the requirements. In the extended version, his cave was decked out with flat screen TV, microwave, a few cases of wines along with his banished trophies. He definitely wasn’t suffering in there. I’m going to pick my mother’s brains. She comes up with gems from her retired friends.

  5. Rowena Post author

    I’ve heard quite a few stories about couples getting under foot. My Dad goes sailing and plays golf. He thrives on his own company.

  6. Rowena Post author

    Not at all. My Dad goes sailing plays golf and Mum does piano accompanying. Mum’s health has had a few setbacks and so it will be interesting to see how they manage a difference in health. That must be a common problem in retirement.
    The more I think about retirement, it seems like a topic ripe with creative possibilities. Must keep my eyes and ears open.

  7. Rowena Post author

    You’re love the more extended version. I had to chop a lot out to meet the word limit. I’m looking at turning him into a surgeon who hasn’t been home much and used to being successful and in control but now finds himself in his wife’s domain. Actually, you just inspired me. Yes, a much younger dolly bird wife as my Dad would say.

  8. Rowena Post author

    Thanks for that, Dawn. I remember when my husband and I first got together and our two worlds collided. I remember being stuck in traffic in the Blue Mountains and two lanes merging into one and all the pushing and shoving as the cars inched forward. While they talk about “two becoming one flesh” through marriage, they don’t mention the flip side and the pain. But, as you say, love prevails. At least, you hope it does.

  9. Rowena Post author

    Thanks very much, Iain. I agree with you. I’m quite extroverted and love being around people but I definitely need time to myself.

  10. Rowena Post author

    Thank you very much, Rochelle. A part-time job seems to work well for a lot of retired people. One of my son’s former teachers became the school librarian. She needed to get out of the classroom but is loving the library work and was going stir crazy at home.
    Take care and I look forward to catching up next week.
    xx Rowena

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  12. rgayer55

    I love the line, “pissing all over him like a territorial cat.” I’m only a few years from retirement and wondering what that life will be like myself.

  13. Rowena Post author

    I suspect retirement is like having your first child for many people…a huge adjustment. I know this more from what my parents have told me. My mum is quite happy my dad does his own thing playing golf and sailing so he’s not getting under foot, joining her with her friends for lunch/coffee or demanding hot lunches (this has proved quite a problem for her friends). Her friend’s husband told her that what he missed most since retiring was his PA. Sounds like his wife wasn’t keen to step into those shoes!
    My Dad started planning for retirement well beforehand and Mum and Dad both took up golf as their shared sport. However, Mum lost interest and fitness and is a musician.
    The other not so welcome thing about retirement is not one of both of you isn’t well and retirement becomes your new role as carer.
    A friend of mine was still working when her husband retired and he refused to do any housework and only played golf. They went to counseling and he didn’t take her concerns seriously and was then surprised to find out she left.
    It looks like retirement is a minefield and quite a treasure trove of creative opportunities.
    I hope all goes well with your retirement. I always think it’s good to know a few of the pitfalls and be prepared. I’m a Scout Mum!
    Best wishes,

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