“Danger, Will Robinson! It’s Heston Junior!

“As we get older, we tend to become more risk averse because we tend to find reasons why things won’t work. When you are a kid, you think everything is possible, and I think with creativity it is so important to keep that naivety.”

-Heston Blumenthal

When I first laid eyes on my daughter’s efforts in the kitchen yesterday, the world’s greatest chef, Heston Blumenthal, came to mind and I wondered how his mother survived. Did he convert her kitchen into a similar scene of mass destruction… a post-apocalyptic disaster zone with bowls of rainbow-coloured cake mix all over the kitchen table, trying very hard to look like pots of paint? How did she cope? Did she ever resort to a Bex powders and “a good lie down” just to get through the day? (Damn those side-effects!  Motherhood’s never been the same again!)

Yesterday, was my kids’ first day of Summer Holidays. For me, the first day of school holidays is a designated “Pyjama Day”. Unlike some of our traditions, this one wasn’t going anywhere. Just like an immovable rock, I wasn’t budging .
Yet, although we spent the day in our PJs, that doesn’t mean the residents were asleep.
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When it came to adding colour to her cake mix, my daughter held nothing back!

Indeed, far from it. While I was having a siesta, my daughter whipped up a cyclone in the kitchen.Rather than feeling excited, energized and inspired by such unbridled creativity, I felt like I’d stumbled into an apocalypse. Bowls of lurid, rainbow-coloured cake mix were scattered on the edge of the kitchen table like paint pots. Indeed, in hindsight I should’ve been grateful that the colours hadn’t been plastered all over the wall. A few bowls isn’t such a huge mess, is it? It’s only me being Catastromum again!!
And yet…
My revulsion and outright panic showed me just how much I’d changed. Not so long ago, all I could see was the masterpiece and never noticed the mess. Yet, somewhere along the way, I’ve gone from making the mess to becoming the:”Make sure you clean up after yourself” person. Have I gone stark raving mad?  I guess so. Armed with Spray & Wipe, I’ve now joined the Clean Police!
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Food colouring is like  glitter. You can’t have too much of a good thing.

Well, not entirely! As much as I complain about the rainbow mess, the results were particularly striking, especially when you sliced the cakes in half. The lurid, multi-coloured swirls reminded me of the inside of a thunder egg with its dazzling crystals and colours. They were impressive.

Indeed, they were works of art.
Yet, they were works of art I was reluctant to eat. Not because they were beautiful. Rather, I didn’t want to OD on all those  artificial colours. Talk about bouncing off the walls for a week and not in a good way either.
Speaking of works of art, there was one last detail my daughter had overlooked…the clean-up. Given all these multi-coloured bowls of drying out cake mix, this was like cleaning -up after a natural disaster of unprecedented proportions. Move over Cyclone Katrina and the Brisbane Floods, we had Cyclone Cake Mix to resolve and those bowls weren’t going to clean themselves.
Yet, as desperate as I was for the mess to go away, much to their disappointment, I wasn’t about to resort to the doggy dishwashers. Yuck!
dogs

Mum, we’ll clean-up. Promise!

After all, we have a dishwasher but for some reason, the bowls aren’t migrating from the bench into the machine. Rather, they just keep sitting there making me mad.
Why is it so?
It seems Heston Junior hasn’t read her contract. That she is required to clean up all messes made in the kitchen immediately. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
I had to remind Heston Junior that my job description does NOT include cleaning up after her fanciful cooking experiments, especially when they expand so far beyond one bowl.
Oh no! Junior Heston had to face the harsh reality of cleaning up after herself.
It’s cruel world.
Do you have any funny stories to share about kids cooking at home?
If you enjoyed this story, you should also have a laugh at my efforts teaching the kids to make pizza three years ago when they were nine and seven years old. It was a hoot: Cooking with Kids: Pizza From Scratch.
xx Rowena
crumb-palette-with-dog-hair-and-chocolate-streak

The End…Rainbow Crumbs,  Dog Hair and a Chocolate Storm Cloud.

 

 

Anyway, although I whinge so much about the mess, I was impressed with the stunning colours, even if she did use a packet mix to make it. Yes, I know Heston’s cooking philosophy is primarily about taste despite his creativity but everyone has to start out somewhere and this was just the first day of the school holidays. She has plenty of time to grow.

3 thoughts on ““Danger, Will Robinson! It’s Heston Junior!

  1. Joanna Lynn

    You’re a good mom making her clean up her mess. It sounds so funny to hear your kids are just starting their summer break from school. It is in the teens here and my kids are starting Christmas break. I’d rather be in your warmth.

  2. TanGental

    Well my mum said a tidy mind was a dead mind so my kids had a hoot with grandma and tidying up came a distant fifteenth, often left to me to help mum out when they were finally in bed.

  3. New Journey

    What a beautiful cake….like you I am not sure I can pin point the moment when the clean up was more important than making the mess/creation…..she did a great job….looks like one of the rainbows you take pictures off all stirred up and baked…..xxxkat

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