The Ipswich fish & chips shop was being bulldozed, making way for an American diner. As the bulldozers fired up, Pauline raged: “I’ll show Ronald Glump!”
“You won’t get away with this. Queensland’s not the 51st state of America. Ipswich says No. Not over my dead body.”
“Mr Glump, sir we’re under attack from a red-headed missile,” Robert Campbell IV, Vice-President Asia-Pacific shrieked down the phone. Australians wrestled crocodiles, wielded knives like swords and he’d failed boy scouts.
“Where’s the riot squad? Call my mate, Mr Turnbull. He’ll build a wall. That’ll keep ‘em out.”
“But what about the customers?”
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This is a contribution for Friday Fictioneers. This week’s PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot.
The Pauline alluded to in this story is highly controversial Australian Senator, Pauline Hanson founder and I think leader of the One Nation Party. Before going into politics, she owned a fish & chips shop in Ipswich, Queensland. She’s famous for a lot of things including her flaming red hair, her infamous saying: “Please explain!” which has become part of the Australian lexicon. You can read her bio here. And here’s a link to her alter-ego Pauline Pantsdown. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions about this colourful character and what would ever happen if she and President Elect Trump came to blows. WWIII? Nup! That would be child’s play!
xx Rowena
Dear Rowena,
A red-headed missile? Sounds dangerous. I’d take cover were I them. Burgers over fish and chips? Nah. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
This made me smile!
Sorry from America……kat
Go ahead and build a wall, if it’ll keep the All American greasy spoon from escaping. We totally understand. The cheese frenchy is a blight that must be contained!
Ha.. walls against customers love that. I read a very funny review of Mr Glumps restaurant, maybe there will be no wall required to keep customer’s away… bring back the Fish’n’chips
Hee-hee-hee! This was hilarious.
Five out of five hold the pickles, hold the lettuces.
And will you be having White Christmas Slice with that, Mate? Good one.
Love that.
Thanks very much. I am amazed what comes out every week with these prompts. They really get me thinking.
Its got to be a halal diner for our Pauline. Nothing but the best for her. I am voting Dame Edna for our president.
I love the idea of a halal diner for Pauline. That would be fabulous. I’d love Dame Edna as our president too. That’s the best suggestion I’ve heard yet!
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I think they would make the perfect couple, the red head and Mr Glump. Good fun to be had Rowena. People won’t be so quick to say Pauline will never rule the country after what happened in America. But I won’t ever vote for her.
She won’t get my vote either. I have really enjoyed working on flash fiction and found it surprisingly stimulating.
I hope you and the family had a fabulous Christmas and wish you a wonderfilled year ahead! xx Ro
All the best xxx