A Stone In My Pocket – Friday Fictioneers.

This was it. I took a deep breath. The 23rd Psalm echoed in my head, and I recited the Lord’s Prayer. Not deeply religious and anything but devout, I still kept a toe in with the man upstairs just in case. However, as I stuffed the heavy stones down my shirt and stared into the lake, I wondered whether he’d accept I was repentant, even if I did commit the ultimate, unforgivable sin. However, it was a done deal. I’d left a note, blown my dosh. I closed my eyes….5,4,3,2,1…Geronimo.

Oops. Next time, I’ll find a deeper pond.

…..

This has been another contribution to Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wishoff Fields. This week’s photo prompt comes from  © Sandra Crook.

 

65 thoughts on “A Stone In My Pocket – Friday Fictioneers.

  1. Rowena Post author

    Thanks, J Hardy. When I was back at Sydney University, I was sitting in the bar and a friend was telling me about her failed suicide attempts and it made an impact. She swallowed pills , and threw them up. Tried cutting her wrists. It was a miracle she was alive and I hope she went on to see that she had a purpose…a reason to live.

  2. Rowena Post author

    Thanks very much, Rochelle. Glad you found it funny as in spite of the suicide theme, I also saw the humour in it. A very earnest attempt thwarted through a technical hitch.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

  3. Rowena Post author

    Yes, Keith. Hopefully they went on and started over.
    I use that expression a lot, as does my Mum. It really rings true for me.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

  4. Rowena Post author

    I really loved and appreciated your comment Neil. It’s so true. If there is a next time, they’ll be measuring the depth beforehand.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

  5. J Hardy Carroll

    I had a friend who had a similar experience in DC. She checked into a hotel with three bottles of vodka. She slashed her wrists and woke un shivering in the tub. She dragged herself into the streets and jumped off a bridge. A passing barge immediately fished her out. She realized then that life was worth living. She was a fine poet named Chanii. Some of her work can be found buried in here: http://joshcarrollcomics.com/uberhaus/diarynav.html

  6. Rowena Post author

    Josh, I have to feel sorry and happy for her all in the same heartbeat. Poets do have it tough…as with a lot of creatives. We feel and sense too much. I’ll duck over and read some of her work.
    xx Rowena

  7. Rowena Post author

    Let’s hope not. I don’t even want to see a fictional character take their own life and not have that opportunity to experience that change in the wind or whatever it is that starts to turn things around for the better.

  8. Rowena Post author

    God to forgive. Taking your own life isn’t looked on well by some Christians and suicides used to be buried outside the Church graveyard. This character isn’t sure whether they believe or not, but is hedging their bets in their final moments just in case.

  9. James

    Your character seems ambiguous about the existence of God. Reminds me of a story about W.C. Fields who was a notorious boozer, womanizer, and scoundrel as well as an actor. Toward the end of his life, a friend went to visit the ailing Fields and found him frantically searching through the Bible. Fields never was known to read scripture so his friend asked, “What are you looking for?” To which Fields answered, “Loopholes.”

  10. Sandra

    Suicide may be painless, as the song goes. But failed suicide is just so embarrassing. And all for the want of a depth gauge.

  11. pennygadd51

    I smiled at the description of your version of Pascal’s Wager, and laughed at your final twist. I’m glad your character survived. Who knows? They may even recognise the miracle!

  12. Dale

    It was not her time. It was a funny/sad story. I like to think that deep down, she really wasn’t ready to call it quits.

  13. Kelvin M. Knight's blog

    I didn’t see that coming! I like that your character keeps a toe in with the big man upstairs. Humour ripples through this piece, which is nice.

    I think wondering should be wondered, too. (minor typo) someone may have already picked it up in which case I do apologise.

  14. Rowena Post author

    I think a lot of people still like to have that eternal life insurance policy…just in case. Thank you very much for pointing out my “typo”, Kelvin. Always challenging to proof your own work.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

  15. Rowena Post author

    Thank you very much, Neel. I agree with you that hoitting rock bottom can be a springboard for turning your life around. I’ve had friends on a downward spiral and people say that it’s only after they reach rock bottom, that they’ll wake up to themselves.
    That said, that then makes that point their rock bottom, when things could well had got even worse. I think we can drift a long for awhile and put up with stuff but then there’s that line and once we’ve crossed that, whereever it might be, we wake up and become more conscious of where we are heading. What do you think?
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

  16. Rowena Post author

    Funny how much of us laughed at that last lline, even though it really is despair upon despair…a failed suicide.

  17. Rowena Post author

    I loved that line, Bjorn. Yes, I agree with you that their survival was an answer to prayer. Perhaps, their faith might be a little straonger after this.

  18. Rowena Post author

    Thanks, Iain. Possibly, not a strategist. My husband is a measure twice cut once type of bloke whereas I go out and buy furniture only to find out it doesn’t fit and the entire house has to be reorganized.

  19. Rowena Post author

    Thank you very much for mentioning Pascale’s Wager as I knew the thinking without the title. Wondering about what God would think if I took my life has crossed my mind when the going’s got tough and I certainly haven’t had the confidence to take a chance. I also couldn’t do it to my parents when I was younger. As much as I might’ve fought with my Mum, she kept me buoyant. I’ve actually been fighting pretty hard to stay alive for the last 12 years so my thoughts are all about extending my stay, rather than cutting it short.
    A few of the comments have interpreted the end as a miracle, a second chance and I really like that interpretation. That’s not to say that they weren’t laughing at the last line as well.

  20. Rowena Post author

    I’ve heard of people being diagnosed with cancer and spending loads of money and then surviving. That influenced that line. There are so many factors to consider.

  21. Rowena Post author

    Yes, you’re right about the embarrassment of a failed suicide. This character must’ve looked very silly but it is a relief they survived..even if they are only fictional.

  22. Rowena Post author

    Yes, I hope no one was watching. Well, that it other that all the FF onlookers who were laughing their heads off. You don’t really want an audience for your failed suicide attempt.

  23. Moon

    The last line is brilliant . I have a feeling that he may become more religious after this incident.
    Wonderful narration, Rowena.

  24. New Journey

    Love this…..never thought that it would end that way….instead of tears I have a smile across my face…..I really like the line, keeping a toe in with the man upstairs….lol kat

  25. Rowena Post author

    Thanks, Kat. I was quite pleased with how that one turned out and the reaction from readers…everyone rolling around laughing despite it being about a suicide and someone who feels like a failure failing even to do that properly…a loser loser. It intrigues me. xx Ro

  26. Rowena Post author

    Thank you very much. I think so too. Mind you, humans can be pretty daft at times and slow to wake up. I wonder how often God wonders why he made humans!

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