Night Musings With Grannie… Eunice Gardiner.

For all of us, there is this strange other world our parents, grandparents and even siblings inhabited before we came along. Yet, while we know world history was going on before we were born and stuck our proverbial tail in the donkey, it can be harder to grasp that the people closest to us had a life before we came along. Sometimes, the threads from these experiences are woven into wonderful stories told time and time again, which become part of our family fabric. On the other hand, these experiences can be thrown right to the very back of the cupboard and either not mentioned or strictly guarded and kept locked away behind closed doors.

Pix Eunice TV Screen Test

 

This all becomes rather more complicated when your relative had a public life. That you might’ve known them in private within that personal and family sense, but there was also this other public self. Perhaps, you stepped into this world now and then, or even belonged in it yourself. Or, perhaps it was a chapter which closed long before you came along and you don’t even know where to begin. Where is the magical red thread to guide you into that other world? The crumbs scattered along the footpath?

Pix Eunice playing piano at Academy

Eunice Age 22. 

My grandmother Eunice Gardiner was an International concert pianist, music critic and professor of the piano at the Sydney Conservatorium of Music. Yet, she also had seven children, twelve grandchildren and nine Great Grandchildren, including two of my own. This very same person who played the piano for the Queen and was dubbed “Melba of the Piano”, also knitted little jackets for each of her babies and at least sewed some of their clothes. She made the Sunday roast and was renowned for making custard. She was mother by day, concert pianist by night. She spent a year touring USA and Canada leaving her husband and three children at home. This is an intriguing web. A complex woman who was well before her time.

FT25 Ruby and Eunice

Mother and Daughter: Ruby & Eunice Gardiner (1940?)

There was also another parallel story…that of Eunice’s mother, my Great grandmother, Ruby Gardiner (McNamara). Ruby left her husband and adult son at home in Sydney to travel to London with Eunice so she could accept her scholarship at the Royal Academy of Music in London. Eunice was only 16 at the time and there was no question of her going alone. Her father, Reuben Gardiner Master Mariner with the Adelaide Steamship Company, said: “You might as well throw her to the sharks in Sydney Harbour.” Less than three months after leaving Sydney, Eunice’s father had a massive heart attack and died at sea near Adelaide. So, when Ruby left for London, she never to saw her husband again. In the one letter I have which he wrote to his beloved “Rube”, you could see they were close. They being apart was a necessary sacrifice, not a relief. Ruby was Eunice’s everything and accompanied her everywhere. They were seemingly inseparable. Ruby made pots of tea and helped entertain the press and, as I found out only last week, massaged Eunice’s hands to help keep them supple. It is then also no surprise, that many years later when her mother was in the hospice after a debilitating series of mini strokes, that Eunice would stop by after work at the Conservatorium and feed her mother dinner. Indeed, for many years Gran lived with Eunice and the family in Lindfield.

I’ve written about Eunice before and after years of research, I’m still finding more edge pieces and the picture in the middle is still patchy. Just when I think I’ve found all the missing pieces, something else shows up and the picture hazes over. Indeed, I have to wonder whether she doesn’t want to be found and that really wouldn’t surprise me. I know she’d be horrified to know that all those interviews she gave all those years ago, along with all the photographs and her writings as a music critic, are now available with the touch of a few buttons and a very long time travelling through Google. However, although that might tell me to leave her alone and let her rest in peace, she was and remains a public person. A woman who lived an extraordinary life, which shouldn’t just be pushed to the back of the closet and forgotten. Moreover, on a personal note, her DNA has been shared and passed on. There is also a wider family which also shares these same elements and ingredients. They might not be playing the piano but they’re dancing, writing, painting, drawing or obsessively focused on something. Moreover, Eunice had her musical “family” of brilliantly talented young musicians who speak a language the rest of us will never understand. They’re carrying her legacy forward and when you’re that unique needle in a haystack, I’d imagine it would be helpful to know you’re not alone. That someone else has trod that path and left some writings and recordings along  the road. So, in this weird macabre kind of way, my grandmother isn’t dead. She lives on.

Anyway, what precipitated my latest wanderings…

Pix 1940 May 11 pg 24.jpg

The other night while was actually researching one of my grandmother’s colleagues, cellist Osric Fyfe, I stumbled across a new resource…a magazine called Wireless Weekly. I thought I knew about all the major media articles about my grandmother and to be very honest, thought I hadn’t left a stone unturned. Then, last week, I discovered a two page media feature in the Wireless Weekly dated 11th May, 1940. This was about a month after she’d returned to Sydney after five years in London. She had returned from London a star and there were interviews about her appearances on BBCTV and a movie Black Eyes with Mary Maguire. She was a person of interest. A person of the moment.

Pix 1940 pg 2 full page

What particularly delighted me about the photos in this media spread was that the photographer almost saw her through my lens. Every photographer, amateur or professional, has a tendency towards a different perspective ranging from the big picture wide-angle to the zoomed in or even macro perspective. This feature really focused on her hands. Indeed, you could say that it was a study of Eunice’s hands.

Pix 1940 May 11 Ruby Massages Eunices Hands.jpg

Mother and daughter’s hands…Ruby Gardiner massaging Eunice’s fingers. 

My favourite photo zooms right in close, showing Ruby Gardiner massaging her daughter’s hands. I never knew she did this, and I was really touched at a deep personal level to tap into this level of intimacy between them. It was truly special and meant so much to me not just as their grand-daughter and Great Grand-daughter, but also as a mother now myself. It’s also got me thinking about my own daughter who is seriously interested in dancing and recently went into her first pair of pointe shoes. Her feet get very sore and perhaps it is now my turn to massage her feet. Be that silent force beneath her dreams.

Pix 1940 pg 25 piano close up

I also appreciated a close up picture of her hands at the piano. This is exactly the sort of photo I would take myself zoomed right in focusing on the fingers. Indeed, you can observe every little detail of her fingers and they’re almost perfectly preserved in time yet cold and untouchable at the same time. Even though these are the fingers of a famous and very accomplished pianist and her tools of trade, they’re not quite the same as the hands I knew. The very same hands which squeezed my newborn son’s feet, while she sang Twinkle Twinkle to him.

Jonathon Christmas 2004

Our son’s first Christmas with Great Grannie Eunice. 

 

How I wish I could’ve frozen time somewhere further along that path so that she was still here and more than just a photograph. Yes, I know. I’ve incredibly lucky to have all these newspaper resources about my grandmother’s life. Yet, at the same time, having all of that brings her back to life in ways I’d never dreamed and yet she’s still among the dead. She can not smile, laugh or make a cup of tea and when I read all of this, I simply want her back. Back for more than just a cup of tea, but to stay.

DSC_0075

My grandmother with my daughter. She was born on Eunice’s birthday 88 years later. I love my grandmother’s smile in this photo. She looks so happy!

I have spent so many, many nights with her on Google and even ten years after she passed, I can still hear her voices as clear as a bell and she always offers me a cup of tea. It could’ve been yesterday or even a few moments ago.

The heart knows no distance!

Best wishes,

Rowena

PS When you look at these photos of my grandmother with these young children, it seems like there was never any choice between career and family and somehow it all seamlessly came together. Photos and retrospectives tend to smooth out life’s rough edges and the bits which don’t quite fit into the narrative. There is no doubt in my mind that playing the piano was her first love and great, lifelong passion. Yet, then she met my grandfather. It was wartime and she found a second flame. Having a great talent and having had people sacrifice and invest in that talent, places an expectation. An expectation which led other female musicians of her day (including Australian Opera Singer Dame Joan Hammond) not to marry. Not to have a family. Eunice chose a different and more complex path, which was often fraught. There were times when these tensions boiled over. Eunice’s mother, Ruby, was a tower of strength, and there was also household help. So, Eunice wasn’t a modern female Atlas, carrying all of this on her shoulders alone. She was just like the rest of us. Only human.

 

11 thoughts on “Night Musings With Grannie… Eunice Gardiner.

  1. Dan Antion

    A very touching post, Rowena. A remarkable woman in what sounds like a very special family. I am glad you’ve been able to find even more information about her.

  2. Rowena Post author

    Thank you very much. There are still so many unanswered questions but I’m very lucky to have all that I have found out about her and what was an incredible life.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

  3. New Journey

    I love that your still finding articles about her, its like she isn’t ready to be done yet. She is with you always. What a warm loving smile she has. XXkat

  4. Lesley Vass

    Hello Rowena! What a truly wonderful surprise to have found your blog, whilst browsing yet again for articles about your beloved Grandmother. Eunice Gardiner was my piano teacher from the beginning of 1963 till my marriage at the end of 1965…which, sadly, marked the end of my piano playing days, for many years.
    For me, she was much more than just my teacher – she was an inspiration, a friend, a role model, infinitely kind, patient but stern….above all, a mother, so proud of her seven children and so caring of her students. How privileged you are to have had such a Grandmother….how fortunate for her to have had such a lovely Granddaughter.
    Sincerest best wishes,
    Lesley Burke (Vassiliou)
    Athens, Greece

  5. Rowena Post author

    Hi Lesley,
    It’s so lovely to hear from you. Every time I hear from one of my grandmother’s pupils, I feel like I’m finding an old friend. Each of her pupils carries memories of her and a certain magic that you have with your teacher. I learned the piano from one of her pupils Patricia Gaut for many years and I will treasure her always. She actually went on to get her PhD in Creative Writing and so she was actually the perfect teacher for me and has also encouraged my writing.
    My mother Joan Haebich was one of Eunice’s pupils, which is how she met my father. We also recently caught up with Gerard Willems who was studying under Gordon Watson at the Con around the same time. He’s recently retired from the Con and gave a twilight recital.
    If you do a search on my blog, I’ve written a few posts about her. Just put Eunice into the search box.
    If you’d like to touch base further, my email address is rowenanewton at outlook.com I keep in touch with a few of her students now and then. I’m slowly working away on writing up about her early life but it’s taking forever and there are so many distractions. I found out her father, who was a merchant seaman, was involved in a collision in Port Melbourne in 1924 and it’s proved an incredible story so I’m fully immersed in that atm.
    Anyway, it was lovely to hear from you and thank you for the encouragement.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

  6. Rowena Post author

    Thanks, Kat. I could see her being just the time to have someone chasing her for eternity. She always had a prima donna element although she was also down to earth, friendly and as long as I knew her, an old lady.
    I had the most incredible fnd recently. I searched her fatherin the old newspapers to double check when he died for her time line and I found htis new article about him being involved in a collision. He was a marchant mariner and second mate on a huge coal steamer called the Dilkera which collided with a small steam in a treacherous spot called The Rip, which is at the entrance to Port Phillip Bay. All shipping in and out of Melbourne has to go via the Rip and there have been some nasty shipwrecks through the years.
    Anyway, there was amassive court case and the thing was covered in the newspapers for months. While I could write a report about the whole thing, what I really want to write about is the emaotional toll. Six lives were lost. 5 crew and one passenger on board the small steamer. Most of those men were married and had a few kids, who lost their Dad. Wifes lost husbands. As you read these reports, there were all these little things that happened and perhaps if any one or two of them were slightly different, the collision wouldn’t have happened. The big steamer hit the smaller one in the middle and all but cut it in half and she sank within ten minutes. I’ve been picturing those two ships and the turning point and how the turning point of that little steamer resulted in such tragedy, which might’ve been averted. It was also 1924 and the resue boat was an oar powered roowboat. There was a comment in the inquiry which talked about needing to plan your collision ahead. Had to laugh. I’ve really had to put my thinking cap on with all of this. So much to learn. Fortunately, with the family sailing, that helps.
    There are so many little details I need to think about and one of them was how they notified the families of the men who lost their lives. I was thinking that the Police might’ve gone round and there was that knock at the door. Or, their employer notified them. However, I read only last night that they found out from the newspaper. A neighbour or mother had read it in the paper and come round to tell them. Isn’t that awful!!
    I wonder if I’m ever going to get any of this research written up? It doesn’t seem to have an end!
    Hope you’re waving a good week. I’ve been coughing and having asthma troubles again but have been out walkinjg and I seem to be better when I’m out of the house. I’m think allergies are part of the problem and have been taking an antihistamine. Clearly, I must be allergic to housework!
    Best wishes,
    Ro

  7. New Journey

    I know I am allergic to housework, LOL What an exciting find. It really makes you think just how hard it was back then, I believe you will mentally process this and sit down and it will pour out of you. Bummer about the cough.. I have been keeping peter out of the population, everyone is coughing and sniffing there noses.!!! Take care my friend. xxxx

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