Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational.

Strangely, my invitation to join Mensa, must’ve got lost in the mail. However, I strayed across The Washington Post‘s Mensa Invitational, which asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supplying a new definition.

A friend of mine put me onto this and I’m wondering whether you agree that some of these coud really take off.

Here are this year’s {2005}¹ winners:

1. Cashtration (n.):

   The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus:

   A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication:

   Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation:

   Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone² (n.):

   The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy:

   Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti:

   Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm:

   The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte:

   To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis:

    Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis:

    A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon:

    It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.):

    The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido:

    All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect:

    The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.):

    The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a! spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.):

    Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n):

    The color you turn after finding half of a worm in the fruit you?re eating.

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¹ I’ve run across at least 1 reference stating that this list, under this same name, has been running around since 1999.

² This one sounds like a near rip-off of one of Gary Larson’s Far Side cartoons. Check out page 37 of this Photochemistry Manual(PDF

Do you have a particular favourite? I really liked them all.

xx Rowena

PS I might keep this list handy for when we next play Scrabble. I’ve been known to be a bit inventive with some of my offerings.