Strangely, my invitation to join Mensa, must’ve got lost in the mail. However, I strayed across The Washington Post‘s Mensa Invitational, which asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supplying a new definition.
A friend of mine put me onto this and I’m wondering whether you agree that some of these coud really take off.
Here are this year’s {2005}1 winners:
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- Cashtration (n.):
- The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
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- Ignoranus:
- A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
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- Intaxication:
- Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
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- Reintarnation:
- Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
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- Bozone2 (n.):
- The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
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- Foreploy:
- Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
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- Giraffiti:
- Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
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- Sarchasm:
- The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
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- Inoculatte:
- To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
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- Hipatitis:
- Terminal coolness.
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- Osteopornosis:
- A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
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- Karmageddon:
- It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
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- Decafalon (n.):
- The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
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- Glibido:
- All talk and no action.
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- Dopeler effect:
- The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
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- Arachnoleptic fit (n.):
- The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a! spider web.
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- Beelzebug (n.):
- Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
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- Caterpallor (n):
- The color you turn after finding half of a worm in the fruit you?re eating.
1 I’ve run across at least 1 reference stating that this list, under this same name, has been running around since 1999.
2 This one sounds like a near rip-off of one of Gary Larson’s Far Side cartoons. Check out page 37 of this Photochemistry Manual(PDF
Do you have a particular favourite? I really liked them all.
xx Rowena
PS I might keep this list handy for when we next play Scrabble. I’ve been known to be a bit inventive with some of my offerings.
Bwahaha! I love that contest. Always good for a smile. Happy weekend.
I like ignoranus a lot, but I have plenty of opportunities to use it.
These are all great – very inventive!
More inventive than I can manage, particularly after a couple of phenergan to counter act the effects of burn-off smoke.
Thanks very much, Monika. I hope you have a great weekend too.
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